Empath problems…soaking up allllll the juju, good or bad. Carrying it around with you. Letting it affect your equilibrium, your sense of self, and oh my goodness, your motivation to do any of the things.
I call it my “emotional sponginess”…absorbing all the feels.
It’s what leads my traveling soul to stay in the hotel room, or sneak away to a mellower corner of the party. It’s when I go quiet, or go dark, turning into a pumpkin and ready to be home. And it hits me from a million directions:
- Political ugliness
- Wondering what others think
- Racial injustice and ignorance
- Facebook trolls (which is pretty much anyone these days)
- Losing my aunt and then a dear friend
- My son’s struggle to figure out the whole world at 18
- Senseless violence
- And most especially the pseudo-consciousness of people who just want to pick a fight instead of solve a problem
Dude, the world is on fire right now (literally) and it’s not the good kind.
And I become absolutely useless, unable to stay involved, to stay rational, to listen, and to problem-solve when all I feel my energy doing is fielding against these spiritual attacks.
Empath or not, we can’t make a difference by hiding away.
But we won’t stop hiding away if we don’t protect ourselves, nurture our own deepest human needs, and stay empowered enough to show up in the world as a force of good.
We all have our own ways of handling the madness, but here are some of my strategies to stay awake, aware, and involved without losing my shizz.
1. Choose my news sources carefully.
Let’s be honest. “News” in the US isn’t news anymore. It’s entertainment, designed to grab the limited attention span of humans, boost ratings, and make advertisers happy. And the strategies they use to do this are increasingly appalling. We do not have television. I do my best to avoid the click bait. And I read newspaper articles and magazines online that present a calm and rational story and allow me to draw my own conclusions. I read from multiple sources, both sides of an issue, because you can’t argue your own side if you can’t argue the side of those who oppose you.
2. Weekly unplug time.
From Saturday afternoon through Monday morning, I go dark. No phone, no internet, no outside media of any kind. This is my cup refilling time. I might binge Netflix, or go for walks, or read through old letters. Sometimes I go out and do something, but most days lately, and with everything so heavy, I like to sink my feet in at home and ground myself in my surroundings. (I also have notifications turned off on my phone and most days keep it on silent throughout the day.)
3. My Emotional Sponginess blend.
I actually call this “Magic” because I can’t believe how powerfully it works. You could also call it BOUNDARIES. Because boundaries. I roll it on my solar plexus at least once a day. Onytime I’ve noticed I seem to be having a particular CRAP week or I’ve been spiraling a lot, it’s always after I haven’t been using this blend. I even used it when I had to deal with a particular narcissistic and true gaslighting man recently and it’s stunning how calm, confident, impenetrable, unshakable I felt.
- 8 drops Clove
- 12 drops Petitgrain
- 5 drops Black Pepper
- 3 drops Cilantro
- 5 drops Wintergreen
- 2 drops Oregano
- 3 drops Arborvitae
- 1 drop Cedarwood
- 1 drop Melissa
- Add to a 10ml roller and top with FCO (after I used it for awhile I found I could also split this between two rollers and still get the same effects)
Apply this to your solar plexus, pulse points, heart, or feet 2-3x a day. Be sure you’re inhaling deeply to really flood the limbic system.
4. Diaphragmatic Breathing.
This is breathing into your rib cage, and can take some practice getting there when you’re new to it. Breath work sends all these little signals to our brain telling it to calm the eff down. Add in your essential oils and it hits your limbic system (the emotional center) about a gazillion times stronger.
When everything seems to be going down around you and you’re feeling like you might just spiral with it, focus on breathing into your rib cage slowly and observe the rest of your body settle in with it.
5. Meditation and Visualization.
Back in my LMT days, I use to absorb my client’s energy so well that I would take on their physical pain. They’d walk out happy and high as a kite, leaving a big tip behind, and I would limp away carrying their emotions and all the physical manifestations of their stress. It was really fun. (That was sarcasm.)
I learned a little trick to apply before each session that changed everything. I started by practicing outside of my massage sessions, meditating on a white light in the shape of an egg slowly forming around me, from above my head slowly sliding down to below my feet. I visualized it being strong and firm and also wisely selective. It would allow joy and light to enter my sphere, but fear or pain or attacks, or anything unhealthy couldn’t penetrate it. The more I practiced this outside my sessions, the easier I could put it up before my appts. I would stand at the head of the massage table and within seconds, envision my bright white egg-shaped light surrounding me, creating a healthy boundary (not a wall; there’s a difference). I was able to give a great massage, still taking their pain, but dropping it back into the earth.
I know, I know. Hippie-woo-woo stuff. But try it y’all. You’ll see what I mean. Your mind is powerful.
Are you interested in more on this topic?
I’d love to invite you to my newest webinar: Calming the Cray-Cray: Essential Oils and Techniques to Manage the Stress, Grief, Overwhelm, and Family Triggers of the Holiday Season.
I’m focusing on surviving the emotions of the holidays, because this holiday season is shaping up to be a particular intense one and you need to be able to keep your stuff together.
I’m going to cover my 5 fav tools and strategies using essential oils that help you to:
- End an emotional spiral (even if you’re smack in the middle of it)
- Manage the grief that can come with the season
- Stop caring what others think
- Craft your knee-jerk reactions, and show up in the world with more confidence, strength, and better boundaries
I’ll also share which essential oils I recommend you start with, and some added bonuses you won’t see anywhere else, including several giveaways for those who attend.