Welcome to Affirmations and Essential Oils! Every Monday I take on a personal challenge and offer you up the oils, affirmations, and practices to find emotional freedom and joy again. Because, joy. It’s amazeballs.

You deal with it. I deal with it. We all deal with it. Self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance. We like to think we don’t have self-loathing or self-hatred, but those two can be insidious. Every time you criticize your body in the dressing room, or speak negatively about your ability, or fail to prioritize your self-care for the 17th day in a row, or apologize for being human, you’re speaking the language of self-neglect, at best.

My theories around why it’s so hard to just love ourselves involve society and our current parenting “skills”. Children are told they are “selfish” if they want something to be only theirs or that they are “too shy” if they need to hang back to absorb the scene or don’t wanna kiss their aunt hello or goodbye. We basically teach our children to consistently put others in front of themselves. If they “brag” or speak too highly of themselves we laugh (if they are 5 or under) and then cut them back down to size in subtle and sadly some not-so-subtle ways to ensure their “heads don’t get too big”. Children rarely are deeply heard, only superficially listened to just long enough to form an opinion and a rebuttal, and so as a result they grow up never learning to listen to or honor their deeper needs.

Modeling generosity and love of others isn’t a bad thing. But we take it too far by making self-love the demon instead. We don’t ever learn to nurture that beautiful middle ground of celebrating and caring for ourselves while also loving and celebrating others, so we grow up to think that our needs aren’t as valued or important or somehow make us a bad person. Most of us can still remember (even still see) the subtle lessons we learned from our families about who comes first, who eats last, who burns themselves out year after year, who should have nothing left to give after a long day at work. About who should never say “no” and when you are finally allowed to ask for help (and it’s usually only after a doctor orders it, am I right?).

Let’s put a stop to this. Let’s learn to love ourselves so deeply that we don’t get to the point of demanding it from others. Let’s learn to meet our own needs without getting sick first. Let’s so completely fill our cups that we can overflow that magic back out to our relationships. Let’s get massages and not pretend it’s decadent. Let’s get foot rubs and not apologize for how badly we need a pedi. Let’s get pedis while we’re at it, and laugh and sip mimosas and come home with kisses for our peoples because we finally let go of that overwhelming urge to carry our home, our job, and our family on our solitary shoulders.

Let’s allow ourselves to take such good care of ourselves and each other that we can easily stand in all our glory and power and show the world what happens when women thrive. Let’s do THAT.

Essential Oils for Self-Love

  This is not an exhaustive list. Any oil that helps you better care for yourself can be an essential oil for self-love. These oils below are specifically geared toward the old habits and patterns and beliefs that keep you stuck when you’re ready to move forward out of such limiting ideas, but find the emotional baggage is cramping your style.

  • Bergamot – it always starts with Bergie.
  • Ylang ylang – open your heart to itself
  • White Fir – releasing generational patterns
  • Cypress – for unsticking the stuckness
  • OnGuard – protecting yourself from toxic ideas
  • Slim & Sassy – self-care, inner beauty, worthiness
  • Cassia – worthiness, confidence, security

Choose the oil that you’re most attracted to. For emotional uses you want to use the oil aromatically, such as in a diffuser. You can diffuse while you’re journaling, meditating, working, eating, driving, but most importantly while you’re using your affirmations for self-love.

Affirmations for Self-Love

Affirmations are generally present-tense and positive, but more important than anything is that you FEEL them. Use these as-is, change them up in whatever ways fits you, add to or subtract from them…just make them meaningful and goosebumpy to you.

  • I choose to deeply and completely love, honor, and respect myself.
  • I lovingly release the past and all that does not serve me.
  • I release all limiting beliefs of Who I Am.
  • I am worthy and deserving of love and respect.
  • I release others from the need to care for me. I meet my own needs with love.
  • I teach others how to love me by how well I love myself.
  • It is safe for me to say “yes” to my needs.
  • It is actually preferred that I am healthy and balanced.
  • I am deeply supported in my own well-being.
  • I am whole and complete and more than enough.
  • I easily prioritize my needs and my wants each day and week.
  • Self-care is selfless.
  • The more I give to myself the more I have to give to others.
  • I easily show up and speak up for myself.
  • My self-love gives others permission to love themselves too.
  • All is well in my world.

Use these affirmations daily, or when you feel yourself slipping up. Journal them 100x, say them out loud, and even find ways to work them into your conversations. Most importantly, every. single. time. your mind starts to spin into negative thoughts – whether it’s about what you deserve or whether others will allow it – answer those limiting thoughts with these affirmations. The more you use them, the more you reprogram your thought patterns, your habits, and thus your reality.

Share your favorite affirmations for self-love in the comments!